Focus of Energy

I used to think I had a lot of energy. I easily got bored stuck at home. I wanted to go out and DO something. Or at least, if I couldn't go out, I would find something new and creative to do at home.

Since having my boys, though, some days I simply cannot get enough downtime. I acutally get tired of being productive. I WANT to be "bored" for once. My energy seems to go directly out of me, and directly into them. This is only sometimes, though.

Other times, I have a LOT of energy, but cannot manage to DO what I really want to do with that energy...so then I wash a load of dishes, or take a walk, or whatever...which is all good, too. But, not nearly as appealing as building that castle in the sky...At these times, what I really wish for is more time to focus on creation, more money for materials and other resources, maybe a maid to take care of all that day-to-day mundane stuff that bogs me down so much...

Then my toddler will do something cute, or my preschooler will tell me that he loves me, and I come back to Earth, and to my senses. And I remind myself that what I momentarily viewed as a sacrifice, is really no sacrifice after all. Let others go build their castles in the sky. I'm building a home here with my family, and what greater creation can one really find than a happy, united and functional family?