Leashes for Toddlers

Okay, the technical name is "harness," but so many people have jokilngly called it a "leash" that I find it amusing to do the same.

So, I have a "leash" for my kids. I used it on G starting around age 2 and it was wonderful to have on hand, especially when Z was a newborn. I could put the baby in the Moby Wrap or Ergo, and put the harness on G, and take a walk to the mall, or anywhere else. And I didn't have to deal with a cumbersome stroller.

I've recently started trying out the harness with Z now, and he's responding pretty well. I remember the first few times I tried the harness on G as a toddler, it took him a while to figure it out and he kept falling down when he ran or walked too far too fast. But Z seems to be more sensitive to the gentle tugging of the harness, and has not fallen down at at. Though, he has sat down a few times and refused to budge lol.

In my opinion, though, there is a wrong way and a right way to use a child harness.

WRONG WAY: For instance, once last summer I was at the park with my boys. It was a very safe park, with a large grassy area all around the playground, and even the slide was perfectly safe for any kid over 18 months. There was a mom there with her toddler on a harness. It was rather comical. The mom was just following her kid everywhere she went: up the steps, down the slide, through tunnels, up ladders...And this little girl, even though she was smaller than my son, was havimng very little difficulty with any of it. And yet here was her mom, practically being dragged by her daughter all over the playground. Was the harness really necessary? Not at all.

RIGHT WAY: When I take my boys for a walk, my toddler appreciates the freedom of not having to hold my hand constantly. But having him on a harness allows him to have that freedom, while still preventing him from dashing into the street, or around a corner without me. I am still teaching him to hold my hand when we do go into the street, and he is usually willing to do so. But, as soon as his feet are back on the sidewalk he is permitted to let go. Also, as soon as he reaches the end of his "rope," I say "Stop," so that he will learn to associate the word with the action.

In other words, I use the harness as a tool, to keep my toddler safe as I teach him how to be safe outside my arms. It worked well with G. He is pretty much perfectly independent now, when we go out. He has learned well, to stay within arm's reach while crossing a street or parking lot; and more recently, I have been teaching him to stay on the lookout for moving cars so that by the time he's in Kindergarten he will be able to safely cross the street alone. I trust him to play alone for short periods of time outside, even though we do not have a fenced-in yard.

A harness should be used as a tool for teaching safety, not as an excuse for lazy parenting.