I make it a point of mine to never ask friends and acquaintances with young children, whether they plan on having more, or when. When people ask me this question (which isn't annoyingly often, just once in a while) I usually say something like, "Well, two's enough for now."
When G was just over a year old, I thought it was a good time to start on Baby #2. I wanted G to have a sibling who was near his age. I thought a 2-year age gap would be just about right. As it happened, I was able to get pregnant again within just a month or two of trying. When I miscarried later, I tried again right away as soon as my doc said it was okay. Z was born when G was 2 and a half; and as sad as I was about my miscarriage, in the end I think it a blessing that I had that extra 6 months before Baby #2 came along. In fact, if I could go back and do it differently, I think I'd have tried to give myself a whole extra year.
Planned parenthood is a very personal thing. I know couples who have had 3-5 kids all in about a year of each other, and I think they're a little crazy, but I also admire them. In a way, it seems like a good idea to have all of one's babies quickly and then to be able to be done with babies after five years or so; but then, the stress of those five years... On the other hand, I know families where their children are all spaced 5 or 6 years apart, and I don't think I envy those moms having to go through baby after baby after baby, stretched out over practically their entire adult life.
I have my two boys so far, and they are 2 and a half years apart. If I had to do it over again, I think I would have them at least 3 years apart, or else no more than one year apart. In other words, either far enough apart that the oldest is most likely potty trained and semi-independent; or else close enough in age that they can go through many milestones at the same time. But then, like I said, planned parenthood is a very personal thing; and the spacing that I think works best for me may turn out to be a bad choice for someone else; and what I would find to be a nightmare, another mother might thrive on.
Also, while I have been fortunate enough so far to pretty much get pregnant (or avoid it) at will, I know there are many women out there who don't have that luxury and are just happy to have their babies if-ever and whenever they happen to come.
Most of all, I just hope I never have triplets. ;)
I just hope I never have any multiples. No matter the spacing, for me I'm happy with one at a time. :)
ReplyDeleteAnother thing to consider for many women I noticed you didn't mention was health. Either the children's and/or their own. But I agree on some points- either independent or sharing milestones seems less stressful to me than a young toddler and a newborn! I'm glad you haven't had too many problems getting pregnant- that's fabulous! Also, I REALLY want twins. hehe I don't think I get to choose that though unless we adopt them. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, health is of course an important consideration. And another reason I have decided to wait a while longer for my next one. Though, I think I'm finally starting to feel more up to it...But, Z is such a strong-willed and physical toddler that I don't really think it will be wise to bring home another baby until he's learned some self-restraint, as is happily independent enough to not get too jealous (we hope).
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