Our nation is being gravely divided right now in a civil
dispute over the rights of homosexual adults to marry and enjoy the legal
benefits that heterosexually married couples enjoy. As a member of The Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have been advised by my religious
leaders to oppose the legalization of gay marriage.
The church has come out with various official statements
about and related to this subject. These statements will serve as the framework
from which I compose the rest of this post. I refer you to the following links
to read more about what my church believes concerning marriage, the family, and
homosexuality:
On the flipside, various statements have also come out from
other groups and individuals in support of gay marriage, including evidence
that children raised by gay couples fare no worse in life than children raised
by heterosexual couples. Whether these cases turn out to be the norm or the
exception may be too soon to tell. But I am mostly satisfied, at least, that
from a temporal perspective, I can continue to be loving toward all my fellow
human beings, and accepting of the diverse lifestyles of all peaceable
individuals regardless of their life choices. I don’t believe in contention; I
don’t believe in hate.
Nevertheless, from a religious standpoint and eternal
perspective, I must oppose gay marriage. Not out of hate, but out of love. How
can that be? I will endeavor to explain my position.
I believe gender is more than just a manifestation of
physical traits. Gender is also spiritual. That is, each one of us is a
spiritual being, a divine son or daughter of our Heavenly Father (otherwise
known as God).
Heavenly Father has a gender—male. And though He does not
specifically mention our Heavenly Mother (no doubt out of love and respect for
her and a desire to protect Her name from being abused as His has been), I
believe we have one. Together, these two Heavenly beings gave “birth” (via what
process I do not know) to every spirit in Heaven prior to these spirits—our spirits—being
born in the flesh to an earthly father and mother in similitude of our Heavenly
origins.
While I will not be discussing the specifics of the process
here, I also believe that it has been made possible for each one of us to one
day become as our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother now are—to be gods
ourselves, to propogate our own spiritual offspring and help them to achieve “goodhood”—or
Exaltation—as well, in the same manner as we have done.
This is the loftiest goal to which our souls can aspire—the goal
of Eternal Life. But it can only be achieved through faithful diligence,
acceptance of our Father’s Plan and our Savior’s Atonement, receiving sacred
ordinances along the way, and no man or woman can do it alone. We need each
other.
I believe in Eternal Marriage—that is, a marriage performed
as a sacred and binding ordinance, administered by proper authority (we call in
the Priesthood), between a man and a woman who are to remain faithful to other
and to God to the best of their ability in this life and in the life to come.
Only in this way can one hope to attain full Godhood—as a team, a man and a
woman.
Now, many if not most of us will in some way fall short of
this ultimate goal. But if we do, it will come as no surprise in the end.
What do I mean by that? I mean that God and Christ (through
the Atonement and Resurrection) have ensured for each one of us that we will be
granted the opportunity for eternal progression. If one does not receive that
opportunity in this life, it will be offered in the next. None will be
disadvantaged in the eternal scheme.
But, it has to be our choice whether or not to accept the
invitation to begin and to endure upon the path to Eternal Life. And many
people—unfathomable as is seems—will choose not to follow it, and will instead
accept their place in a “lesser glory” or kingdom. And while it is a sad choice
for God to see one of His children make, He allows that child right via the law
of Free Agency to make that choice to halt his Eternal progression.
A quick note here, but without going into great detail: I
believe (as per the teachings of my church) that having a physical body is an
essential part of God’s plan for each of His children. And furthermore, those
sacred ordinances which I mentioned earlier which must be performed along an
individual’s path to Eternal Life, must be performed physically before they can
be valid spiritually. If a person is not privileged, then, to have these ordinances
performed while living on this earth, a worthy member (having had his own
ordinances performed already) may stand in as a proxy for that deceased spirit
to receive the necessary ordinances and fullness of his promised blessings,
should he be found worthy and willing to receive them.
There are several ordinances which must be received in
order, and receiving any one or more of them allows an individual to progress
along the path. The highest ordinance, and the one necessary for Eternal Life
or Godhood, is the sealing ordinance of Eternal Marriage. And Eternal Marriage
as ordained by God, can only be between a man and a woman.
As things currently stand, if a man and a woman are legally
married in this life, but did not receive the sealing ordinance, proxies can be
authorized to perform that ordinance for them, allowing that man and woman to
progress toward Godhood together should they so choose.
Also, after a couple is sealed together under the proper
authority, any biological or legally-adopted children can also be sealed to
those parents.
But a legally married gay or lesbian couple cannot be sealed
together in this way, nor can any children they have borne or adopted be sealed
to their gay or lesbian parents.
Here is the sad dilemma:
If, while still in this life, a gay individual in a gay marriage were to gain a testimony of the Church and desire to join and
partake of the ordinances necessary for spiritual and eternal progression, he could
not be permitted to do so while his gay union stands. This puts the
individual in the unfortunate situation of either divorcing his partner (whom he
loves and with whom he chose to spend his life), or staying in the relationship
and halting his spiritual progression. This choice becomes much more difficult
if there are children involved.
If this same individual were to come to a knowledge and
acceptance of the Gospel after death, earthly records would not be such as to permit a proxy sealing
of any kind. Though this same situation would occur with any unmarried
individual—gay or straight. We are told in the church, that a lot of proxy work
will be done after the Second Coming of Christ, and that all will be worked out
in the end for anyone faithful who desires for their work to be done. If a
posthumous union can be arranged for worthy straight individuals, I can only
assume that the same will be true for those gays and lesbians who have repented
of their earthly sins and are willing to accept eternal mates of the opposite
gender. I personally do not know how it all will be worked out, but I believe
that it will, because God is just and merciful.
So why do I oppose gay marriage? Ultimately, because it
causes a lot of unneccessary spiritual heartache; because
it halts the progression—either temporarily or permanently—of otherwise worthy
individuals; and because any family formed by a gay union cannot last into
Eternity, no matter how much those family members love each other, and that is
the saddest thought of all.
I don’t expect those who do not believe as I do to accept as
truth all that I have just shared. I have no real empirical evidence, aside
from the witness of the Holy Spirit which has affirmed the truth of it to my
soul. I do hope that it can at least serve to help others understand my
position and how—believing as I believe—I must oppose gay marriage.
For if I believe—as I do—that God’s greatest desire for each
of His children is to one day become as He Himself now is, how can I desire or
encourage any less for my Brothers and Sisters? For me to endorse gay marriage
would be for me to imply to these people that I do not care if they achieve the
same eternal rewards as I myself strive for.
In closing, I offer up a final thought, that right does not
always equal good.
From a legal standpoint, is allowing gay marriage the right
thing to do? Yes.
From a temporal/earthly perspective, is it good? I believe
the evidence for this one way or the other has yet to be seen.
But from an eternal perspective, is gay marriage good for
God’s children? To that, I can say that the answer is a definite and resounding
NO.
