How my opposition to gay marriage is fueled by Love

Our nation is being gravely divided right now in a civil dispute over the rights of homosexual adults to marry and enjoy the legal benefits that heterosexually married couples enjoy. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have been advised by my religious leaders to oppose the legalization of gay marriage.

 The church has come out with various official statements about and related to this subject. These statements will serve as the framework from which I compose the rest of this post. I refer you to the following links to read more about what my church believes concerning marriage, the family, and homosexuality:

 https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

http://www.mormonsandgays.org/

 On the flipside, various statements have also come out from other groups and individuals in support of gay marriage, including evidence that children raised by gay couples fare no worse in life than children raised by heterosexual couples. Whether these cases turn out to be the norm or the exception may be too soon to tell. But I am mostly satisfied, at least, that from a temporal perspective, I can continue to be loving toward all my fellow human beings, and accepting of the diverse lifestyles of all peaceable individuals regardless of their life choices. I don’t believe in contention; I don’t believe in hate.

 Nevertheless, from a religious standpoint and eternal perspective, I must oppose gay marriage. Not out of hate, but out of love. How can that be? I will endeavor to explain my position.

 I believe gender is more than just a manifestation of physical traits. Gender is also spiritual. That is, each one of us is a spiritual being, a divine son or daughter of our Heavenly Father (otherwise known as God).

 Heavenly Father has a gender—male. And though He does not specifically mention our Heavenly Mother (no doubt out of love and respect for her and a desire to protect Her name from being abused as His has been), I believe we have one. Together, these two Heavenly beings gave “birth” (via what process I do not know) to every spirit in Heaven prior to these spirits—our spirits—being born in the flesh to an earthly father and mother in similitude of our Heavenly origins.

 While I will not be discussing the specifics of the process here, I also believe that it has been made possible for each one of us to one day become as our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother now are—to be gods ourselves, to propogate our own spiritual offspring and help them to achieve “goodhood”—or Exaltation—as well, in the same manner as we have done.

 This is the loftiest goal to which our souls can aspire—the goal of Eternal Life. But it can only be achieved through faithful diligence, acceptance of our Father’s Plan and our Savior’s Atonement, receiving sacred ordinances along the way, and no man or woman can do it alone. We need each other.

 I believe in Eternal Marriage—that is, a marriage performed as a sacred and binding ordinance, administered by proper authority (we call in the Priesthood), between a man and a woman who are to remain faithful to other and to God to the best of their ability in this life and in the life to come. Only in this way can one hope to attain full Godhood—as a team, a man and a woman.

 Now, many if not most of us will in some way fall short of this ultimate goal. But if we do, it will come as no surprise in the end.

 What do I mean by that? I mean that God and Christ (through the Atonement and Resurrection) have ensured for each one of us that we will be granted the opportunity for eternal progression. If one does not receive that opportunity in this life, it will be offered in the next. None will be disadvantaged in the eternal scheme.

 But, it has to be our choice whether or not to accept the invitation to begin and to endure upon the path to Eternal Life. And many people—unfathomable as is seems—will choose not to follow it, and will instead accept their place in a “lesser glory” or kingdom. And while it is a sad choice for God to see one of His children make, He allows that child right via the law of Free Agency to make that choice to halt his Eternal progression.

 A quick note here, but without going into great detail: I believe (as per the teachings of my church) that having a physical body is an essential part of God’s plan for each of His children. And furthermore, those sacred ordinances which I mentioned earlier which must be performed along an individual’s path to Eternal Life, must be performed physically before they can be valid spiritually. If a person is not privileged, then, to have these ordinances performed while living on this earth, a worthy member (having had his own ordinances performed already) may stand in as a proxy for that deceased spirit to receive the necessary ordinances and fullness of his promised blessings, should he be found worthy and willing to receive them.

 There are several ordinances which must be received in order, and receiving any one or more of them allows an individual to progress along the path. The highest ordinance, and the one necessary for Eternal Life or Godhood, is the sealing ordinance of Eternal Marriage. And Eternal Marriage as ordained by God, can only be between a man and a woman.

 As things currently stand, if a man and a woman are legally married in this life, but did not receive the sealing ordinance, proxies can be authorized to perform that ordinance for them, allowing that man and woman to progress toward Godhood together should they so choose.

 Also, after a couple is sealed together under the proper authority, any biological or legally-adopted children can also be sealed to those parents.

 But a legally married gay or lesbian couple cannot be sealed together in this way, nor can any children they have borne or adopted be sealed to their gay or lesbian parents.

 Here is the sad dilemma:

 If, while still in this life, a gay individual in a gay marriage were to gain a testimony of the Church and desire to join and partake of the ordinances necessary for spiritual and eternal progression, he could not be permitted to do so while his gay union stands. This puts the individual in the unfortunate situation of either divorcing his partner (whom he loves and with whom he chose to spend his life), or staying in the relationship and halting his spiritual progression. This choice becomes much more difficult if there are children involved.

 If this same individual were to come to a knowledge and acceptance of the Gospel after death, earthly records would not be such as to permit a proxy sealing of any kind. Though this same situation would occur with any unmarried individual—gay or straight. We are told in the church, that a lot of proxy work will be done after the Second Coming of Christ, and that all will be worked out in the end for anyone faithful who desires for their work to be done. If a posthumous union can be arranged for worthy straight individuals, I can only assume that the same will be true for those gays and lesbians who have repented of their earthly sins and are willing to accept eternal mates of the opposite gender. I personally do not know how it all will be worked out, but I believe that it will, because God is just and merciful.

 So why do I oppose gay marriage? Ultimately, because it causes a lot of unneccessary spiritual heartache; because it halts the progression—either temporarily or permanently—of otherwise worthy individuals; and because any family formed by a gay union cannot last into Eternity, no matter how much those family members love each other, and that is the saddest thought of all.

 I don’t expect those who do not believe as I do to accept as truth all that I have just shared. I have no real empirical evidence, aside from the witness of the Holy Spirit which has affirmed the truth of it to my soul. I do hope that it can at least serve to help others understand my position and how—believing as I believe—I must oppose gay marriage.

 For if I believe—as I do—that God’s greatest desire for each of His children is to one day become as He Himself now is, how can I desire or encourage any less for my Brothers and Sisters? For me to endorse gay marriage would be for me to imply to these people that I do not care if they achieve the same eternal rewards as I myself strive for.

 In closing, I offer up a final thought, that right does not always equal good.

 From a legal standpoint, is allowing gay marriage the right thing to do? Yes.

 From a temporal/earthly perspective, is it good? I believe the evidence for this one way or the other has yet to be seen.

 But from an eternal perspective, is gay marriage good for God’s children? To that, I can say that the answer is a definite and resounding NO.

Pictures from our Massachusetts Trip-- Second Installment

The boys and I met a lot of Nick's mother's family for the first time. G enjoyed spending a good deal of time with Nick's cousin, O.

 Lobster Night:

 Z kept leaning forward to take bites of his corn, rather than picking it up with his hands; I thought it was funny, so I got a pic:

 My Mother-in-Law watched the kids while the rest of us took a bike tour of Boston. It was fun. Our tour guide:

 My Father-in-Law, and Nick:

 Brother-in-Law and Wife:

 Sister-in-Law and Husband:

 And Me!

 If I'm remembering right, that tall structure is the supports for a new interstate bridge. Or something of the sort.

 Sailboats:

 A duck in the reflecting pool. The sign says "no swimming."

 Misty moorings...

 And seagulls!

Happy Father's Day

My dad is a good man.

Through the years, he and I haven't always agreed.

He hurt my feelings a time or two.

But I always knew he loved me. And how do I know this?

He taught me to love reading and learning.

He taught and expected me to work hard and to be self-sufficient.

He served me and my family in countless ways. He went to work every work day, often performing dull and thankless tasks, so that I could have food to eat, a bed to sleep in, piano lessons and voice lessons, and fun vacations from time to time. And when we went on these vacations, he was usually the one to drive, even as the rest of us entertained ourselves or slept.

Sure, I can remember times where he lost his temper, or got annoyed at things that seemed so minor and petty to me; but as a parent myself now, I have much more sympathy and understanding than I did back then, and I pass no judgment on my dad-- or my mom-- for any of their perceived failings. And anyway, they did a pretty darn good job, even in spite of themselves. I hope I can do at least as well with my own children as they did with me and my siblings.

My father was and IS an exceptional man.

He sat with me and patiently walked me through countless complex math problems, explaining them to me the best he could, even though I often failed to understand and more than a handful of times ended up screaming and running to my room with tears of frustration in my eyes.

He took the time to gather our family together every evening to read our scriptures and pray together. We gave him a hard time sometimes, joking around or trying to wrap up conversations which were sometimes difficult to put down. I imagine there must have been times where he and my mom both dreaded that looming half-hour every evening, knowing there was the possibility of chaos and near-warfare at times. They must have been so exhausted and tempted to just send us all to bed right away (or at least go to bed themselves) without all the fuss of "family time."

He served in various church callings, cheerfully and willingly. And he always supported my mother in her church duties as well.

He gave me a Father's Blessing every year before I started school; he blessed me when I was sick, or any other time I asked him. He kept himself worthy to perform these blessings at a moment's notice.

Sure, he wasn't perfect. But he never gave up trying.

I love my dad. He is worth loving. And his love is worth desiring, and I know he shares it willingly with me. I am so grateful for that, and for all that he does.

Thank you, Daddy. I love you.

~Sylvia

Weaning weekend

This past weekend, I left the boys and my husband behind to take a trip down to Rexburg, ID to visit my sister and brother. I got to meet each of their fiancees, and I had a wonderful, relaxing time with them all. Got to have some good bonding time with my future sister-in-law, and enjoyed joking around and reminiscing with my brother and sister. Saw all the rennovations that have been done at my old college since I left there seven years ago, and it was astounding. I wished I had remembered my camera. Now I want to go back sometime with Nick so that he can see it, too.

Back home, things were not as relaxing for my poor husband. The boys ran him ragged, and on top of that he had to deal with Z's tantrums in the middle of the night when I wasn't there to nurse him. I am so grateful for my Nicholas and all his support and patience throughout this past weekend.

Yes, Z is-- for all intents and purposes-- weaned at last. I still haven't dried up completely. But, the four days away were really just what Z needed to convince him that he doesn't need to nurse all the time. He's asked to nurse a few times since I got back home, but he's been pretty easy to distract and hold off. I haven't nursed him at all since I got back, so if I can just hold out for a few more days or so, I'm thinking we'll have reached a new "normal" around here.

Z went down for bed a whole lot better last night than he used to. I really just think things will be better in general for everyone now that he's weaned.

Focus of Energy

I used to think I had a lot of energy. I easily got bored stuck at home. I wanted to go out and DO something. Or at least, if I couldn't go out, I would find something new and creative to do at home.

Since having my boys, though, some days I simply cannot get enough downtime. I acutally get tired of being productive. I WANT to be "bored" for once. My energy seems to go directly out of me, and directly into them. This is only sometimes, though.

Other times, I have a LOT of energy, but cannot manage to DO what I really want to do with that energy...so then I wash a load of dishes, or take a walk, or whatever...which is all good, too. But, not nearly as appealing as building that castle in the sky...At these times, what I really wish for is more time to focus on creation, more money for materials and other resources, maybe a maid to take care of all that day-to-day mundane stuff that bogs me down so much...

Then my toddler will do something cute, or my preschooler will tell me that he loves me, and I come back to Earth, and to my senses. And I remind myself that what I momentarily viewed as a sacrifice, is really no sacrifice after all. Let others go build their castles in the sky. I'm building a home here with my family, and what greater creation can one really find than a happy, united and functional family?